I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize