he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
