I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
