They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
