i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I queefed so loud it echoed.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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