The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
