considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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