But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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