i jhust puked up my retainher.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
