Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
