im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
