nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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