he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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