oh god the rape fog is back!
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
