i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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