Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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