im drinking this country out of the recession.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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