I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
