Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
