why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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