We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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