couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
