can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
id be glad to
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
