We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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