i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
