I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize