Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
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