he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
