A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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