eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize