i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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