So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
