4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize