It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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