just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize