Dual....:-)
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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