Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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