We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
