So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
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As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
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How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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