names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You have to summon your inner elephant
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
