Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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