Already got asked if we're dating
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
