If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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