you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
