we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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