My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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