she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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