Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
