She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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