im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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