My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize