oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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