I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
